6 months pregnant Nkoli has been spending some time on Instagram, and she’s seriously loving pictures of #babyshower. She decides to have a word with hubby:
Nkoli: Sweetheart, the idea of a baby shower makes sense to me o! I really want one, I think it’s nice…
Hubby: Baby shower ke? You want people to know you are pregnant? Pregnancy is a secret! Go and ask your mother, she will tell you. Even if you want to do baby shower, must it be now that 1 dollar is 480 naira? And we will still do child dedication? Woman mind yasef oh! I’m still recovering from the wedding expenses.
Some days later, Nkoli asks her mummy on the phone
Nkoli: Ehen mummy, I was talking to hubby the other day about having a baby shower…
Mummy: Which one is baby shower again?
Nkoli: Baby shower now! That thing oyibo people do when a woman is pregnant. A party where her friends and colleagues gather to celebrate that she will soon be a mother.
Mummy: God forbid! Which friends? Look here let me tell you, beware of your so-called friends, not everybody is happy for you! Nkolika! Hope you are hearing me? Do you want your baby to die in your womb? Do you want to die in the labour room? Infact your father is sitting here, he wants to talk to you…
Nkoli and Daddy
Daddy: Nkolikammachukwu! What is this I am hearing about a baby shower?
Nkoli: Hello Daddy. Good afternoon.
Daddy: What is good about the afternoon? That you want to do a celebration before the arrival of the celebrant? You children of nowadays! In this country, once you get pregnant you go into hiding. You disappear from all social networks! Listen to me; you know you are very stubborn. If you must stay on social media, better take that Fr. Mbaka oil I gave you on your wedding day and anoint your phone and laptop screens. There are bad people everywhere, and the devil is now using Wi-Fi!
Hope you are going for your antenatal? Baby shower ko, baby baffing ni!
Chai! She never hexperredit.
Lord! My ribs ache from laughing. African parents and their mentality. Funniest thing I’ve read all week.